Choosing Joy Today: October 14th

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

October 14th

These are the lovely flowers that my thoughtful husband sent me today. Actually, he has sent me flowers on October 14th for the last 11 years, starting with the first anniversary of my mother's death. Today is 12 years that she has been gone...but not gone from my heart. I miss her dearly, but cancer can't take away our memories or the love. I believe that out of each crisis, there is also an opportunity...an opportunity to grow, to learn, to shift our often-rigid paradigms. I ask myself, "What is this here to teach me?" This loss has taught me to celebrate EACH day, live in the PRESENT, worry less about what others think & more about the RELATIONSHIPS that mean the most. It has taught me to dance, take risks, reach out, and SHOW, not just tell, others how much I love them.
LOVE IS A VERB! I spent 1/2 the day doing psychotherapy and the other 1/2 of the day with those in treatment, surviving cancer. I spoke to the firemen leading the Turn Tyler Pink event tomorrow...and I realize that if mom hadn't died of cancer, I wouldn't be a therapist. I wouldn't have counseled the Tyler fireman or united with them in a cause to raise funds and awareness that could save the lives of others. I wouldn't work with survivors. I wouldn't have played a big part in educating and helping ease the burdens of those enduring the battle with cancer. I would take more for granted. I'd worry more, appreciate less. SO, you see, cancer/loss/pain/difficulties CAN lead to good things. It just takes reframing the experience to be one that provides emotional energy and MEANING to the experience. "Fear Not! Only Believe!" is what Mom told us time & time again. In fact, it's written on her gravestone. On this October 14, 2009, I celebrate the LIFE that she LIVED...and realize that I honor her memory by the life I live. Key word...LIVE!