There are days when the demands of motherhood overwhelm me and I feel like I fail miserably. That, folks, is just part of it. Yes, there are more good times than bad, but some days are tough! I think if more women were just HONEST about this reality, there would be a lot less depressed women; as comparison is the thief of joy!
Then there are other days...days like today...days I just wish I could savor like a warm, buttered biscuit or a homemade sugar-cookie right out of the oven (yes, I love my carbs!) My day started off with my boys deciding that they wanted "beads and bracelets" to wear before school. So, of course, I dug out some that would be ok if they got broken, and just reveled in the joy that my boys have in the simple things...like Jackson running to the kitchen to show Daddy his beads around his neck...or Noah saying, "Here, Bubba. You can have my beads," as he placed his beads around Jackson's neck. Just soaking up their joy for life, their way of finding fun in the seemingly small things----is SUCH a lesson for us "grown-ups." Of course, I put myself into that category loosely;)
Fast forward to after school ice cream and driving around looking at construction sites; watching the cranes, bulldozers, and dump trucks with awe and wonder. Daddy arrived home early and the boys played in the nearby dirt that is a plenty where our future neighbor will be building soon.
The weather was warm, and the wind was just windy enough to not result in discomfort. The boys & Daddy began playing "baseball" with their plastic bats, and even Mommy took a few swings in the front yard! Then we went to our neighbor, Cindy's home and sang her happy birthday before her birthday dinner with her family before heading inside for a bath.
Soaking up the goodness of this day was almost emotional. I sincerely know to the core of my being that I am BLESSED. I know people say that, and I'm really bothered when people FAKE it...but I FEEL it. I watch my husband of 15 years (tomorrow) pitch the plastic ball to my 5 year old son, see Noah swing the bat and hit the ball with all his might...as Jax has another plastic bat that he uses as a pretend pony ride...and I think, "THIS IS THE STUFF OF LIFE...moments like THIS." Sure, trips to Disney and lavish vacations are fun...but CONNECTING, through genuine laughter and unconditional love...THIS is what I want my children to remember...this FEELING.
I am not a perfect mother by ANY means! I make mistakes every single day. Today is no exception. But, I'm thankful that for THIS day, THESE moments... I am able to keep tomorrow's to-do list on TOMORROW's schedule, and stay present in these moments. I know they'll be gone far too soon. I don't know WHY God has blessed me this way. I am flawed...deeply flawed. I giggle to myself, as I picture Froilan Maria singing in The Sound of Music, "Somewhere in my youth or childhood...I must've done something good. Nothing comes from nothing. Nothing ever could. So somewhere in my youth or childhood----I must've done something....some....thing.....good." (Can't you just hear the duet between Froilan Maria & Captain Von Trap?!?! I know you were singing it in your head!)
My family of 4---joy to my world.