The most amazing letter I received about my mother

 

Today, as I halfway paid attention to some Facebook posts,

I noticed I had an email. I checked the message, and I was

COMPLETELY blown away by the message. It was sent to

my sister, Susie and I from a "girl" (now woman with a son of her own)

 that previously attended my father's little Lutheran church in

Commerce, Texas...so many years ago. I took a picture of the

 pansies I planted yesterday in memory of my mother, and posted

 it to Facebook. Fifteen years after her death, I'm still amazed at

the amazing impact my mother had on the lives of so many. It

simply takes my breath away. I'm not one to rant "religious" things

 in my posts because I, honestly, disagree with a lot of the hatred

 and intolerance that is sometimes put out there in the name of God. MY

GOD is a tolerant, kind, loving, and forgiving God. Anyway, what I lean toward

 is SPIRITUALITY more than religion, and BEING the change I want

 to see in the world. Sometimes, I feel that the hypocrisy of some

"Christians" is more intolerant, inflexible, and judgmental than my

 FORGIVING, TOLERANT, LOVING God. What I love is when a person

 BEHAVES as Jesus behaved. I guess that's why I like the whole

 "Love is a verb" statement. When someone IS THE VERB...by acts

 of DOING...that, in my humble opinion...not just sitting in a pew on

Sunday morning...is having a personal, authentic relationship with God.

 And then there's folks like my mother...one of those phenomenal ladies

 who was the whole package...Christian in every good sense of the word,

tolerant, graceful, honorable, the whole package...inside and out.

She was the verb, 150 percent. I left off the name of my childhood

friend that sent this message to me, in order to protect her privacy.

 Below is her message. It simply means the world to me and I never

 want to forget. THIS, folks...is LEGACY...

Hey Ladies, I hope this email finds you all well! Brenda, your post about

your mom reminded me that I needed to email you girls about something

that happened a long time ago, but that I still think about often.

When we were young, and Jeff (my oldest brother - not sure if you

all remember) was having some serious mental difficulties, he attempted

suicide more than once. To say that was an extremely difficult thing for

my family to go through is an incredible understatement, and to say

that we dealt with tremendous confusion, pain, shame, etc. would be

putting it in a very mild form. Those years shaped me, in ways both good

and bad, and still do today.

As a young girl, in a small town where people loved to gossip, you

can imagine some of the things I heard about my family. Tough stuff

for a young tween to experience. I recall specifically, one day I had

overheard someone saying something particularly disturbing about my

parents, and your mom pulling me aside, bending down to my level and saying,

"P, you are a bright and beautiful young woman, you have absolutely nothing

 whatsoever to be ashamed of, your brother is going to be okay and we are going

 to help pray for him. Don't ever forget that." I never, ever did.

 

She also cooked meals for my mom during that time, when nobody

else in the community did, and often stopped in to check on her.

I know that years later my parents chose to leave the church – for

whatever reasons they never told me, and honestly, I could care

less about - but I remember my mom always reflecting on how kind

your mother was to us during those days. I never heard either of them

say a negative word about your parents, and I will always consider Trinity

Lutheran my church. In fact, the example your mom set for me has helped

me to reach out to other women in my community, particularly during difficult

times, and somehow come up with the right thing to say.

I know this is very random, and deeply personal, but I just wanted to let

you all know. She is still alive.  I think she lives through us all by the

way her kind actions shaped us. She was truly a wonderful woman.

May God Bless you both - much love