Friday, June 4, 2010

The Ups & Downs of Motherhood

It's funny how in a matter of seconds (especially with a 2-year old) the emotions and behaviors associated with those emotions can cycle faster than ANY Bipolar patient I've ever met in the psych hospital. Enter my son, Noah. There are definitely ups and downs of motherhood. There are some moments that fill my heart with so much joy and love that make my heart feel like it's going to burst. Like this morning. Noah isn't potty trained yet, and he will go to a private place to make his poo poo. This morning, he went to his private place, made his poo poo, and then came up to me and said, "poo poo." I told him that we'd clean it up and get a new diaper and we headed to his room. When we entered the room he said, "Saw-wee," (That's how Noah pronounces sorry.) It melted my heart.
But there are other moments... you know the ones...moments like I had today, when my 2 year-old is hitting and kicking me, that test my patience and make me ask myself, "What was I thinking? How am I going to handle two?!? I'm already beat down tired and can barely keep my house from being declared a national disaster! What will I do?" And I'm a positive person! Luckily, I have a supportive husband that answers my frantic calls when I'm on the verge of tears and freaking out because my child just kicked me hard in the stomach and I'm pregnant and trying not to freak out. Of course, Michael's first response is to spank Noah. I'm philosophically different here, believing that it's not a good idea to tell my kid, "Don't hit," and then smack him. I'm not putting down those that use corporal punishment. I've worked with kids too long to want to use that option though. Anyway, after a brief pep talk from my husband, and giving Noah a few minutes to calm down, I pulled my head up and calmly re-approached my son.
He said, "saw-wee," gave me a sweet hug and a big kiss, and I rocked him to sleep. Lots of ups and downs and the day is only half over! But I must say, that I know God will give me the strength to handle this, and I know that all Moms have days like this. I'm just putting mine out there, so if any other mom is at her wits end, she'll know that it happens to the best of us. I know that it's all worth it. As I glance at Noah sleeping soundly in his bed, I am assured that yes, indeed, it's all worth it. But I still think I'll go have a chocolate bar!

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