Noah...starting the New Year off !

My Noah...
This kid is an ORIGINAL! And I LOVE that about him! Here he is on New Year's Day...in his underwear, black shoes, party hat and noisemaker, helping put away a Christmas ornament. You just GOTTA love this kid!
Don't ever change, Noah!

First Day of 2012...it's a doozy!

Noah says, "Let's play Fall!"

Jackson's 1st slide

Happy New Year!

It's the 1st day of 2012, and we welcomed in the new year with sickness! Noah is running a 102 fever and we think he might just have the flu. Fever and vomit are not a fun way to start the new year, but at least the weather was nice enough to get outside a bit today.  Jackson took his 1st slide down Noah's playground in the backyard, and instantly loved it! Noah played with him and also played "Fall" by raking up leaves (well, Daddy did) and rolled in the leaves.  Sweet boys. And me? I haven't even bathed yet, and might not even get there at this point...after spending most of the night up with the boys. Michael actually ended up sleeping (if you can call it that) in Noah's bed with him while I took care of Jackson. I hope the New Year brings more SLEEP!

Last Thoughts of 2011

On the last day of 2011, instead of making a bunch of small resolutions that will be long forgone after a week or so, I choose to pick one word that I'll continually reference for my overall goal of 2012.  The word is....

BALANCE.

Although 2011 was a great year, it's also a year that got out of balance, as I worked a lot more  than I intended (albeit mostly at night when the boys were asleep), and struggled (like most working moms) to balance home, a growing family, marriage, work, expectations, etc. Nevertheless, in 2012, I want to strive for more balance in my life.  This will require me letting some things go...which also will include telling some people no.  This will also include me doing some things JUST GOOD ENOUGH,  rather than doing things perfectly.  This will include asking for help, delegating, giving up some control, and continually reflecting on "the big picture."  This will require me to stop my "all or nothing thinking" and making serious strides in decreasing procrastination and increasing organization...two topics that don't come easy to me! This goal for balance extends to every facet of my life...my relationships...my work...my health...my home...my everything.  I am a work-in-progress, and the goal is PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION! But, just by writing this down, and reflecting upon what REALLY matters, I have set my intention into the universe.  And I know, I must maintain focus. I know I'll lose focus at times, and that's o.k.  Then, it'll just be time to reflect, and regroup.  I will remember..."What you focus on....EXPANDS."

So there it is...a one-word intention for 2012. 

BALANCE.

Love is a verb.  Take action.

Life is dessert. Make it sweet!

Poor Sick Noah on New Year's Eve 2011

"Mommy, I'm so sick." Not exactly the words you EVER want to hear from your child, particularly on New Year's Eve.  But that's exactly what we heard. Poor Noah. This kid seems to be sick for some big winter holiday every year! This was the 1st year he's been well for Christmas, so New Year's Eve was the unlucky holiday, this year.  Susie & the boys came for a little New Year's Eve "party" today. We counted down 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Happy New Year! Except, we did it at 12 noon instead of midnight. The boys didn't care! They were just happy to have gingerale, balloons, cupcakes, & cookies. Poor Noah...my LOVER of ALL THINGS PARTIES...got sick right during the party with a 101 fever.  He fell asleep during the festivities. When he woke up shortly thereafter, he ate a cookie and vomited it up 30 seconds later. Happy New Year, right?!?  Well, it gave me pause.....YES, Happy New Year indeed. There are so many parents out there with chronically ill and disabled children...and I have been blessed with a healthy child...minus the annual winter holiday sickness.  So, for that, as I sit here in my living room on New Year's Eve, I do not feel sad or bitter that I'm not out having drinks and partying it up.  I can hear the fireworks from Hollytree right now.  And I don't feel that I'm missing anything at all.  In fact, if I really want to see the fireworks, I just have to go to my upstairs patio and I can see them. (The truth is, I'm hoping the fireworks don't wake my sleeping Jackson, or my darling Noah...who just told me again, "Mommy, I'm so sick," as his fever spiked again.) My fireworks, my blessings every day & all year through...are my boys.  And no glittery ball in fabulous New York City can hold a candle to them. Speaking of which, Noah is awake again. I'm off for now... 

Poor sweet, Noah; literally fell asleep on the couch during our New Year's Eve "party" with Susie & the boys.  He must've been sick, because this kid LOVES a party!

After he woke up, since he couldn't join the party, we brought the party to him on the couch! He was happy to toot his noisemaker horn!

Reflections of 2011

Have a sparkling new year!

Me & My Boys...last day of 2011

It's the final day of 2011, and as I take a brief moment to reflect on this past year, and ponder hopes for 2012, I pause....breathe in........breathe out, and thank God for my many blessings.  This year went by in a blink of an eye.  It was just the beginning of 2011 that Jackson was just 2 months old.  It was just the beginning of 2011, when we were transitioning from a family of three to a family of four.  As the year closes, I now have an almost-four-year-old in Noah, and a one-year-old in Jackson! Having a baby brings lots of firsts---2011 there were lots of firsts for Jackson...first sit up, first roll, first crawl, first word, first walk...eventually...first birthday.  Watching his firsts and watching him explore his year of firsts has been something I will forever treasure.  He is simply goodness. He loves his big brother, Noah, and seeing these two together is nothing short of joy rising (except, of course...now that they're both bigger, we have the beginnings of the brotherly roughousing! That's not so joy rising!) Noah is little me.  He is always on the move, outrageous, spontaneous, spirited, stubborn, full of passion, and wakes up every day just ready for fun.  He's my son who will bust out a song or a dance, for anyone, anywhere. He sings about everything! He loves to be outside! He loves his Daddy and his brother.  I hope he never loses that enthusiasm. Sometimes I just stare at his gorgeous blue eyes and copper locks, and am genuinely stunned by his beauty. 2011 was the year that I became a part of Judge Clark's Drug Court team.  I never thought I'd want to work with "drug addicts," but I've learned so much this past year about recovery through this amazing opportunity.  I have learned more about resiliance and the power of God and abundance from "drug addicts" than I ever learned in school or anywhere else. It's truly GOD's work that I'm doing, and it's THE MOST VALUABLE work I've ever done. Hands down.  The best part of it is...I'm a big part of putting families BACK TOGETHER.  Judge Clark is a big picture thinker, and I love her dearly. And speaking of love...my husband of 13 years. I love that man. I simply do not know how I would've made it...physically or emotionallly, without his support in my life.  Love is a verb. I love you, Michael.

2011....

• The year Jackson turned 1; the year Noah turned 4.
• The year that Elizabeth turned 40 & we gave her a 40 & Fabulous Birthday Party
• The year that Grandma Kreger died
• The year that Judge Clark & Drug Court became a part of my life
• The year that I realized Mary Beth was not coming back to Texas
• The year that my dad fought like hell to honor my mother's memory after some shady dealings from some Michigan family
• The year that I completed a 1/2 marathon 4 months after having a baby
• The year that I worked more than I intended
• The year that I traveled to D.C. with Judge Clark & had a private tour of the capitol by a Congressman
• The year that I discovered Pinterest
• The year that I found my home gym...XTC, and got re-introduced to kickboxing, which I heart
• The year that I breastfed...for over a year, thank you very much
• The year that I spent countless nights rocking babes, singing Silent Night, and squeezing precious baby skin
• The year of watching my boys together as siblings
• The year that I made some priceless plates and canvas prints from the boys handprints
• The year that Elizabeth found the courage to file for divorce
• The year that Michael got season tickets to the longhorns
• The year that Michael also bought me my Canon...coincidence?
• The year that I grew even closer to my sisters, which includes my sister-in-law, Rebekah.
• The year that I made Noah & Alice a 12x12 Shutterfly Book explaining how to make my mom's sugar cookies
• The year that my house became a complete mess...
• And the year that I hired a housekeeper without guilt.
• The year that we took our 1st trip on the Polar Express
• The year that we were all WELL for Christmas
• The year I met Courtney Stafford. The year Thomas Thedford celebrated his 1st birthday.
• The year Jackson completed so many "firsts."
• The year we took our 1st vacation as a family of four.
• The year I did more public speaking 
• The year Michael & I celebrated our 13th anniversary
• The year that marked 14 years since my mother died
• The year that priceless pictures were taken of our family
• The year I will treasure, ups and downs...highs and lows...because I was blessed with my three loves, (Michael, Noah, & Jackson) my extended family, and good friends. 

Thank you, God, for allowing me to be healthy throughout 2011.  Thank you for my life and the chance to live each day. 

Happy New Year 2011

1-1-11- Happy New Year 2011- We spent New Year's Day at home, playing and recovering from sickness. I am excited to think about all that will transpire in 2011. It's going to be a great year. I just know it!

1-1-11

Today is 1-1-11! I thought I must document that we were here to witness this day! It's not every day that numbers align in such a cool way! Here are my boys on the 1st day of this year, 1-1-11! We'll see if I have it together enough to remember to take a picture of the boys on the last day of the year. It would be kind of a cool way to start and end my blog book that way. Happy New Year! Welcome 2011!

Reflecting on the last day of 2010

2010 has been QUITE a year! The last couple of months, in particular, have been a whirlwind, so as I sit here sick and sleep-deprived at home on New Year's Eve 2010, I thought it might be a good idea to reflect on this year.

Blessings:

It's best to focus on our blessings, so that's where I'll start.

2010 was the year that Jackson Joseph McBride joined our family! What an enormous joy & blessing he has been and will continue to be. I love you Jackson. 2010 was also the year that Noah turned two years old. I love you so very much, sweet Noah Michael. I always have and that will never change! My biggest blessings of the year are my boys: Michael, Noah, & Jackson.

Other blessings & happy memories of 2010:

-Michael- Although we are total opposites, he is my rock. He was my rock when my mom had cancer, and ever since. He is an incredible husband and father. I love that man.

-My dad dressing up as Elmo for Noah's 2nd birthday party. What an incredible Grampa!

-The great snow of 2010. Watching Noah explore the snow, and seeing the lake and trees completely covered in white powder was simply grande!

-How Noah reaches his hands out to me and says, "Hold you." (Which means that he wants me to hold him.)

-Dancing with Noah. Watching him dive into life!

-Grammie giving Noah his first (& 2nd) haircut. I was a nervous wreck but she was so patient and kind throughout it all!

-Hearing Jackson's heartbeat for the first time. Feeling him move for the first time.
-Swimming in the pool with Daddy, the Carliles, Grammie, & Paw Paw
-Fishing with the Carlile Clan
-Noah's hair
-The beautiful views from our home that Michael built.
-Watching Noah really enjoy trick-or-treating.
-Taking walks around the lake.
-My family. My dad is incredible. I adore him. He is my hero. My sisters. Memories of my mother.
-Visiting with Mary Beth at the Cancer Institute. SUCH therapy.
-Watching Noah be so sweet with Jackson. Watching him "grow" as a big brother. Witnessing him put a pacifier in Jackson's mouth because Jackson couldn't hold it. The way every time Noah sees Jackson, he says, "There's baby Jackson!"
-Rebekah & Brian keeping Noah for a few days while Jackson was born was one of the biggest blessings of the year for sure. Only Rebekah understood how hard it would be, and she literally took the weight of the world off my shoulders. BIG BLESSING!
-On the subject of Rebekah---Another huge blessing of 2010 is how much closer I became to my dear sister-in-law. Actually, "in-law," does not apply to her. I've always loved her, but I became so much more connected with her in 2010. She is my sister, my friend, a soft place I can fall when I need. A voice of empathy, compassion, warmth, and strength. 2010 was the year that I began to better understand, appreciate, connect with, and completely fall in love with Rebekah.

-Watching my dad baptize Jackson, who wore the same baptismal gown that my great grandmother made. The same gown I wore. The same gown Noah wore. A definite highlight.

-Having all our family at Jackson's baptism---standing up with us- was such an emotional and memorabe experience.

-Watching Noah & Michael ride around the lake on the "tractor" (the John Deer lawnmower). Everybody in the neighborhood knows who they are and their little ritual. It's so cute!


-Getting Noah enrolled in Oak Tree Academy. It was the PERFECT timing, and we have had the best experience there. It was a God thing. I have no doubt.

-Being blessed to have Grammie come stay with us for a week when Jackson was born. When God takes away angels, he also puts angels back in our lives.

-Having Rose Bailey come into our lives. It may sound silly to some, but she has been there & documented so many precious moments this year...of Noah, our family, Jackson's birth...she's more like an extended family member than a photographer.
-Watching Brian play Santa. Priceless.
-Having a dream delivery of Jackson Joseph McBride. I feared that because my pregnancy was so difficult, delivery might be as well. It couldn't have gone more smoothly. AND my boy is just perfect!

-Feeling that my family is COMPLETE! I love ALL my boys!

BUMPS:

-Being pregnant- Yes, it's a LITERAL bump, but this was a TOUGH pregnancy. I had EVERY symptom/side effect and was in so much pain through it all. I LOVE my baby, but I DON'T like being pregnant...well, I loved feeling the baby move. But the rest, I could totally pass on.
-Not running while pregnant. Total bummer.
-Deaths of my cousin Beth, Helen, & Grace- all to cancer
-Potty training
-Mary Beth moved. Stacy is moving to Georgia. Boo.
-Struggle to manage family/work/house
-Lots of difficulty healing after Jackson was born (but he was worth it!)
-The McDonald's incident. I didn't write about it, but it involved me trying to spend extra time with Noah while Michael took Jackson to get his PKU checked. Noah had a severe meltdown, pooped in his pants in the playground which then required me to go up 2 stories and drag him down...screaming...poop was all over him...then me...I had no wipes or anything...I wasn't at all healed from giving birth...and I had to literally restrain Noah outside of McDonalds and felt like a total failure. THAT, my friends----was the LOW POINT of 2010! Luckily, when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up!
-Jackson's tummy troubles at several weeks old. Listening to him cry and hurt was agonizing. I'm glad we were able to get that under control. It was heartbreaking.
-The adjustment from one child to two. Honestly, the adjustment from 0 kids to 1 was much easier than from 1 to 2 kids. I couldn't have anticipated that, and I don't think I'd believe it if I wasn't living it right now! I'm thankful for my family of 4, but it has had its growing pains.
-Having to concede that my house will NOT be clean/organized the way I want it with a toddler and an infant. Believe it or not, that's actually a tough one for me.
-Trying to find TIME! Time for family! Time to exercise! Time with Michael! Time for Noah! Time for Jackson! Me time (What's that?!) Time to clean! Time to do the daily stuff of life. Oh yeah---TIME for FUN! Struggling to have time and balancing it all is probably the biggest bump so far. Something to continue to learn about & improve upon in 2011. We are all a work in progress.

So, yes, 2010 did have ups & downs, but there were clearly more UPS than downs! I'm excited and hopeful that 2011 will be another great year! I want to remain mindful that "having everything perfect" isn't nearly as important as staying connected with those that I love...and making sure that they know how deeply I love them. If you're reading this, know that you are loved! Goodbye 2010! Welcome 2011!